|From left: Striker, Allison, Berke, Kelly, and Dennis|
Berke wants to be in the show because Allison will be in the show. But Berke is not a theatre kid, nor is he quick on the spot. Plus, he's a ginger. Draw your own conclusions. However, Berke's best friend's younger sister, Kelly, is a theatre whiz, and she offers to tutor him. Felix, Kelly's big brother, is not very happy with the arrangement, but would do anything to help a friend (except get him out of the harness he was put in by a dominatrix at a sex club). Berke gets cast as one of the king's henchman, but is bumped up to Lysander because the show's star gets injured on set.
Kelly, meanwhile, is an aspiring songstress, and thinks Forrest Oates' songs (especially for Helena, her part) suck. So she pens her own, thinking F O will be permissive, if not entirely thrilled. WRONG, he's furious. And also miffed that she would use quotes from the original Shakespeare because hell-ooo, so boring! So Felix, being a good brother, slips the sheet music to the orchestra on opening night. Martin Short and his assistant, Jessie (Jeanie Calleja), make good use of their walkie-talkies during that scene - "Jessica. JESSICA!"
I mean, what is there to say about this movie? Berke's parents have a sex talk show. Felix and Kelly Woods ostensibly have no parents, but they do have their aunt's dog who likes to hump their rubber tree. Dennis "Crazy Legs" Wallace (Sisqo) loves playing basketball, but also loves to dance (High School Musical totally lifted that plot point, I swear). There's a Kiwi model named Dora Lynn who sets a sushi restaurant on fire. Oh, and Mila Kunis in a bikini. You're welcome.